If you’re reading this, it’s because you’ve either been contacted by your prince charming or because you’re fabulously curious . Either way, I’m happy you’re here.
We’re here to explore what to do after you’ve made that first connection with that special someone. This part of the relationship is tricky because it’s kind of like writing a test. The moments you will spend with the person are more like personality evaluations. Whether you pass the test or not depends on several factors. Let’s explore them.
The evaluation begins as soon as you walk towards him on the first date. (If he’s looking). Your general essence sends a message to the people around you , and mostly importantly, to him. Remember the three C’s I mentioned in Spark-Ignition part1? Well this is a great time to apply them. Staying Cool, Calm and Collected projects confidence and says : “I’m fabulous and really happy to be here.” Feeling excited is all part of the fun, but stressing out serves no real purpose and can work against you. Walking in with your head up and making eye contact with him is a great start to the encounter. The important thing to remember here is that you are also analyzing him and he is probably just as nervous as you are. Take advantage of the situation ; one nervous and stressed out individual is always better than two.
Now I’m assuming the encounter is taking place somewhere you can sit , eat, drink? If so, do yourself a favour and order a beverage. Any beverage. If you like alcohol, get one with alcohol in it. This has always helped me loosen up and and get comfortable in my chair.
Conversations. The scariest part of them is when they’re inexistent. To avoid the awkward silences, you need to sit back, relax and stop thinking so much about what you’re going to say. On the other hand, ask about things you would like to actually know about him; things that are important to you. In my case, I love asking about music, favorite foods, movies, and more. This usually gets the ball rolling and allows me to get to know the guy , which is the whole point.
For me the date is a success if he:
– Made me laugh – Laughed at my lame jokes – Made me feel sexy\ pretty – Smiles a lot – Had a meaningful debate with me – Made eye contact with me while speaking (this helps me determine how self confident he is) – isn’t self absorbed – seems outgoing and ready for adventures.
What you look for in a guy is obviously different , we all have our preferences. But I think it’s so important that these factors , or at least some , are present throughout the date. I’ve learned not to settle when it comes to these things. Being in a relationship is nice, but being in a mediocre relationship is not. If you don’t feel the butterflies, he’s probably not your guy.
The goodbye kiss. Is it necessary? Absolutely not. If you don’t feel like being kissed, then don’t be kissed. If you do feel like being kissed , and the feelings are mutual, the kiss will happen on it’s own. For some reason, I’ve always been the one to make the first move. If I wanted to kiss him, I did. I dont believe the first kiss depends entirely on the guy, women are more than capable of doing it to. If however you want to kiss him but he isn’t giving you any sign that he wants the same thing, back off and call it a night.
The idea behind Spark-Ignition part 2 is this: it’s so very important to truly enjoy your first date without insecurities. You need to love who you are and project your inner beauty so he can see you for who you are. Being yourself is the number one rule. You don’t want to sell a product that is inexistent, he’ll figure it out eventually if you do.
Up next: Spark-Ignition part 3. Sex on the first date?