Spark-ignition part 2.

If you’re reading this, it’s because you’ve either been contacted by your prince charming or because you’re fabulously curious . Either way, I’m happy you’re here.

We’re here to explore what to do after you’ve made that first connection with that special someone. This part of the relationship is tricky because it’s kind of like writing a test. The moments you will spend with the person are more like personality evaluations. Whether you pass the test or not depends on several factors. Let’s explore them.

The evaluation begins as soon as you walk towards him on the first date. (If he’s looking). Your general essence sends a message to the people around you , and mostly importantly, to him. Remember the three C’s I mentioned in Spark-Ignition part1? Well this is a great time to apply them. Staying Cool, Calm and Collected projects confidence and says : “I’m fabulous and really happy to be here.” Feeling excited is all part of the fun, but stressing out serves no real purpose and can work against you. Walking in with your head up and making eye contact with him is a great start to the encounter. The important thing to remember here is that you are also analyzing him and he is probably just as nervous as you are. Take advantage of the situation ; one nervous and stressed out individual is always better than two.

Now I’m assuming the encounter is taking place somewhere you can sit , eat, drink? If so, do yourself a favour and order a beverage. Any beverage. If you like alcohol, get one with alcohol in it. This has always helped me loosen up and and get comfortable in my chair.

Conversations. The scariest part of them is when they’re inexistent. To avoid the awkward silences, you need to sit back, relax and stop thinking so much about what you’re going to say. On the other hand, ask about things you would like to actually know about him; things that are important to you. In my case, I love asking about music, favorite foods, movies, and more. This usually gets the ball rolling and allows me to get to know the guy , which is the whole point.

For me the date is a success if he:

– Made me laugh – Laughed at my lame jokes – Made me feel sexy\ pretty – Smiles a lot – Had a meaningful debate with me – Made eye contact with me while speaking (this helps me determine how self confident he is) – isn’t self absorbed – seems outgoing and ready for adventures.

What you look for in a guy is obviously different , we all have our preferences. But I think it’s so important that these factors , or at least some , are present throughout the date. I’ve learned not to settle when it comes to these things. Being in a relationship is nice, but being in a mediocre relationship is not. If you don’t feel the butterflies, he’s probably not your guy.

The goodbye kiss. Is it necessary? Absolutely not. If you don’t feel like being kissed, then don’t be kissed. If you do feel like being kissed , and the feelings are mutual, the kiss will happen on it’s own. For some reason, I’ve always been the one to make the first move. If I wanted to kiss him, I did. I dont believe the first kiss depends entirely on the guy, women are more than capable of doing it to. If however you want to kiss him but he isn’t giving you any sign that he wants the same thing, back off and call it a night.

The idea behind Spark-Ignition part 2 is this: it’s so very important to truly enjoy your first date without insecurities. You need to love who you are and project your inner beauty so he can see you for who you are. Being yourself is the number one rule. You don’t want to sell a product that is inexistent, he’ll figure it out eventually if you do.

Up next: Spark-Ignition part 3. Sex on the first date?

Spark-ignition part 1.

DOES HE LIKE ME?? The most important question in many teenage girls lives. The stress and excitement of being liked by your crush starts significantly young and is ongoing until the end of time. (Or until you find the one). How do you know when your crush likes you?

Before you can establish if someone likes you, there must be some sort of relationship already started between the two of you. Most of the time, the guys I crushed on were my « sort of friends ». I made sure to sit by them in class, stand near them at a bar, ask them for a light … you get the idea. Right then and there, you should be able to tell if there’s any possible future for the both of you. If the guy hands you the lighter while continuing his conversation with his friend, he clearly gives zero ***** about you. Don’t even try being his friend. The point here being, there is usually something that allows for electric eye contact between the both of you and this is crucial in any start-up relationship.

The eye contact doesn’t ensure love. The eye contact should help encourage a conversation between the two parties, but it’s what comes out of your mouth that matters. The important thing to remember is to maintain the three C’s. Be Cool, Calm and Collected. If you’re freaking the fuck out, he’ll know. Confidence is key here. If you don’t have the self confidence to walk up to a guy and tell him a joke, you should not approach the bench so soon. Being comfortable in your own skin comes before all and I truly mean that. Smiling and being content is very noticeable , and he will notice your smile if you let him.

Once you’ve had a two way conversation with this person, you can usually tell if he’s interested if he says things like : see you soon? where you headed? do you have Facebook? Which class are you taking ? Basically any question seeking more information about your future is a good indication that he might want to see your pretty face again. Don’t play hard to get and give him the information he needs to get in touch eventually. If you don’t get contacted by him after that, move on. If you do, congratulations you’ve made it to spark ignition part 2.

Is my advice worth something?

I like to think so. But then so does everyone else. My friends and sisters have often come to me for relationship advice and have told me that I give good advice. At first I didn’t necessarily agree; I was mostly just giving my opinion about the situation at hand. For me, the fact that they come back to me seeking help is a good sign. I’m no expert on relationships , but I have had a number of them . Some with men, some with women. I guess my experiences have left others believing that I must have the perfect solutions to their problems given I’ve seen both sides of the fence. The truth is that I’ve always said things the way I saw them , regardless of how painful the truth could have been. I am proud of my ability to be forward and to the point.

Why I’m here.

First off, It never occurred to me to start a blog due to the simple fact that I’m not a writer . Turns out anyone can have a blog , including me , and I’m so excited about it. Hot minute is the name of my blog because I truly believe in the importance of taking a few minutes per day to to whatever it is you like to do; something that will take time away from work, the kids, school, basically anything that causes stress. In my case, I have created this blog. The Hot in Hot minute implies that I intend on keeping things spicy. I will be talking about relationships and giving advice about them. I will also talk about sex and will be giving sex tips . Whether you take my advice is always completely up to you, but I hope I can help in whatever which way possible. I’m 100% sure that my readers and I share (some of ) the same sexual/relationship desires, accomplishments and frustrations . I plan on discovering that here. I apologize in advance for any poor vocabulary I may impose on your lives.